(Source: eternalsunshineoftayloraesmind, via talkingincodes)
(Source: eternalsunshineoftayloraesmind, via talkingincodes)
these past two weeks have taught me that i am not afraid.
that i have truly absorbed good and true knowledge.
i feel confident in myself in a way i have never known before.
i think sometimes really bad things need to happen to you
so you can see how you will handle them.
you can tell yourself every day who you are or tell people
the kind of person you want them to believe you are,
but you don’t really know until you react to
the different things in life you are dealt.
today i am happy with myself.
what an odd feeling.
why does it feel like everyone is in a love-hate relationship
with themselves?
it’s strange not being worried.
i wouldn’t say there was a lack of hesitance,
but i wasn’t worried. in fact i was nervous-excited, like a first kiss.
maybe it’s not that big of a deal, but it’s a big deal for me
because i don’t like commitments and have spent the past
two years telling people how silly they are to commit themselves
to someone at our age.
i made a pros and cons list even… obviously there were far more pros
thans cons and the worse con was that james is a slob sometimes,
but he’s a boy and that’s to be expected.
i thought about what i’d told people before,
about how if you live with somebody than you’re
denouncing the idea of meeting anyone else.
it’s no longer just “i have a boyfriend and we’re pretty serious.”
it’s “i share a home with this person and don’t believe there’s anyone else that i’d rather come home to at the end of the day.”
i want to share my crappy little apartment with him
and then maybe a bigger apartment,
then maybe a crappy little house,
who knows?
i’m just so very happy
and
i’m going to keep riding this wave.